Momentum. When it comes to online dating, you’ve got to have it. It’s the sole force that’ll save your quippy chat from turning to stale toast in a matter of days. But only if you act on it.
What’s tricky about it is, life isn’t always on the same schedule. Say you match with a TDH (tall, dark and handsome) on a Monday – your eyebrows raise when whatever app you’re using tells you, “You’re a match!” That kind of immediate return with someone who checks your boxes is a rare thrill, am I right? But as my online mavens know, if you send a message on Monday night — the clock starts ticking. If you’re living by the rules of momentum, you have until Friday to meet this mystery man.
But this is the real world. Dating isn’t the only thing on your schedule. Chances are your week is filling up by Monday night and you can’t make it work that week — and the question becomes, do you write TDH at all? I’d say have a cup of tea, a chocolate biscuit and take a beat.
Dating is not a game, nor a long game for that matter. But it is strategic. Wait until Thursday to send the message and get together Tuesday night. An inane morning show anchor recently said a study (eye-roll) found dates are more successful on weeknights where there’s “less pressure,” so Tuesday is perfect. Fridays apparently carry too much expectation.
The reason for pressing pause: If the online conversation goes on for too long, you’ll run out of things to chat about and lose interest, or worse he will. We obviously want to lose interest first… You’ll also have very little to say when you finally meet since there’s only so much fodder one can glean from a profile, especially if it’s written by a man (read: most) who’s not adept at describing himself beyond a few sentences or bullet points.
Stay on momentum’s side and you’ll have the excitement of mystery and the appearance of spontaneous – even if you’re smart planner says otherwise.