Have you ever found love while on vacation? Neither have I. But I have found a fling or two.
On my last get away with friends, I really decided to get my adventure on and signed up for a few diving sessions. In the shop, signing up for Wednesday morning’s excursion is where I met Ted the SCUBA guy. Yes, I know it’s cliche.
A first meet up over a few beers led to a great kiss and a few more the following day in the crystal clear waters of the Caribbean. That was that, as far as I was concerned. That’s not now Ted felt.
During what I hoped would be a beach escapade/music video-esque memory I could look back on, the conversation suddenly got heavy. He began making rather surprising statements about how we should communicate with each other when the distance got too hard; wanting my thoughts on where we’d live in the future and wanting to know how I felt about the breed of dog he owns. At first, it was sort of like playing make-believe. The scenery, my spontaneity, the tropical fish at our feet… heck, my entire week was surreal. So how could this be anything more than a fling?
When I realized the line of questioning was unrelenting, I was clear that I wasn’t looking for anything serious. However, the texting continued and four days after I returned to reality, Ted texted, ‘Even though you don’t want anything serious, will you be my girlfriend?’ No, he isn’t 15. That, I can be sure of. But he certainly was acting like a teenager.
My reaction to this overstep in basically every category – the fact we only saw each other twice; the fact he lived in la la land; the fact that I don’t plan to; the fact that I was clear I wasn’t into anything more and just the general boldness of the request – well, it took me a-back. A friend sent me her take on the situation using only an emoji with its brain exploding. Same page.
But my wiser women – those a few years ahead in life – thought very different of Ted’s request. They say when you find someone you like, and you know you like them, why wait? Why play games or text a bunch of nothingness and not just go for the big question to see if communicating at all is worth it? They have a point.
I thought about this and realized how damn brave that was of Ted. While my newfound respect did not change my mind about the commitment I am not willing to give, I saw his move in a new light and it gave me hope. The lesson is in the lining. There are still romantics out there. There are still people who are willing to be brave with their feelings and take a shot despite the odds. May we all meet them. Better yet, may we be them.